Drug and alcohol abuse, gambling, disordered eating, self-mutilation, and resisting treatment for severe and chronic mental illness are all examples of self-destructive conduct. You may feel disappointed, bewildered, and powerless if your loved one is suffering with one or more of these self-destructive habits. How do you assist someone who refuses to acknowledge the existence of a problem?
Sometimes the only way to assist folks who aren’t ready to help themselves is to stage an intervention. Theatrics like those seen on reality television aren’t required for an intervention. A successful intervention requires careful planning and a team of individuals who really care about the person who is participating in self-destructive behavior.
The term “loved one” will be used throughout this article to refer to the person who is the subject of the intervention. Your loved one is the one who participates in self-destructive conduct while oblivious to the fact that it is an issue with potentially fatal repercussions.
It is feasible to stage a successful intervention without needing to hire an intervention professional or counselor to help you. You will be astonished to find a high success rate in convincing your loved one to commit to therapy if you effectively – and completely – complete Phase 1 and Phase 2 of the intervention.
Preparation is the first phase.
The first step is to assemble your team. Make a list of persons who could be a part of the intervention. Begin with relatives and work your way up to friends. Your initial draft of the list should include everyone who knows your loved one that you can think of. Take a close look at the names when you’ve finished the list and consider how each individual is related to your loved one. Is this someone who is concerned about the well-being of your loved one? Can you put your faith in this person? Is this individual emotionally sound? If you answered “no” to any of these questions, cross that individual off the list.
One member of your team will need to act as the group’s “moderator.” If you don’t want to engage a professional interventionist, choose someone from your team who you think will be able to conduct the intervention without allowing strong emotions to get in the way of keeping things calm and orderly.
Step 2: Agree on the issue as well as the solution. Even if everyone on the team agrees that your loved one drinks too much, they may disagree on the scope and severity of the issue. Has your loved one developed a chemical addiction to alcohol? If that’s the case, weekly therapy isn’t the best option. Do you have a loved one who drinks and drives? Then drinking and driving must come to an end. You won’t be able to go on with the intervention until your whole team agrees on the issue and the solution.
Close friends and family members often mistakenly diminish the issue, resulting in an ineffective remedy. For example, I often assist with families who are attempting to rescue a loved one from the ravages of alcoholism. Despite the fact that the whole family recognizes that alcohol is the issue, they are often alarmed and apprehensive when I inform them that inpatient treatment is the best option, according to evidence-based research. “What if he says no?” invariably asks a family member. “That sounds excessive; I’d never ask her to do that.” Unfortunately, this is a sign of co-creating a dysfunctional relationship with your loved one, in which you have unknowingly allowed your loved one to plunge further into addiction, despite your best efforts.
Although it is ideal to give the greatest therapy possible in the least restricted setting, keep in mind that the optimal care for your loved one is likely to be more severe than you originally believe is necessary.
Step 3: Write a letter to someone you care about. Despite the fact that writing might be a daunting process, it will help you organize your ideas ahead of time so that you can speak clearly and effectively during the intervention. Prior to the intervention, writing helps you to work through some of your sentiments, such as anger, grief, frustration, and resentment – understandable emotions that might make it difficult to communicate successfully.